Recently there were a number of stories discussing a new plight yellow cabbies are suffering. When they get to their destination people often jump out of the cab and don’t pay. That’s because they forgot they weren’t in an Uber where you pay when “hailing”.
So has this trend moved into bathrooms? As most of us know the bathrooms in most offices, movie theaters, restaurants, sports and other entertainment venues have auto flush. You go, walk away, the bowl flushes. Nice.
But not every place has auto flush bowls. How many times have you walked into the ever filthy likely never cleaned bathroom in Penn Station at any hour and noticed the water in the urinal is quite yellow. Or noticed feces floating in the bowl in the stall? I won’t get into the feces and urine all over the floor of the bathroom. That’s another story. I’ve been left wondering if auto flush has made many people stop flushing? Please do us a favor, flush.
Benjamin was now about 4 months old. He was a cute little kid and going through the normal stages of growth. Jen and Jake couldn’t have been happier. They did all the usual things with him. They loved taking him to Bryant Park and letting his young ears listen to the Thursday’s Broadway in the Park. They also liked when he watches with interest kids throwing around the baseball.
Benjamin was a good eater and got the right amount of sleep. He didn’t cry much. Jen and Jake were very protective. He was never let out of sight for even a second. They were happy. But fearful of Anat. For the time being things were peaceful.
Marc and Alana were up to their usual mischief or good deeds. It’s hard to keep up with those two. And Anat, well she was thinking about cleaning herself up. But she wasn’t sure what that meant. She would study it.
Trizpora and Eran had a fall Jerusalem wedding planned. Invitations were sent.
Marc and Alana had dinner with Tzipora and Eran. The Tzipora and Eran just had a quiet wedding in the Holy Land. Only family was invited. After dinner, Marc and Alana were strolled the High Line. The newlyweds were headed home.
“Think we’ll ever get married?” Mark asked.
“To who?” responded Alana. “But just imagine the kid I’d give birth to.”
Mark knew then they just be friends forever and act like they are married. But not be together in wedded couple state. He was okay with that. Was he? Was she?
The two carried on about their evening.
Anat was roaming the streets of the Bronx. She needed to get out of the city for a while. Of course being the Boston fan that she is, she hates the holy structure in that boro.
She saw kids playing. She knew she’d never have any. It hurt her. But she is who she is. Aren’t we all?
Alana and Marc woke up. They hadn’t spent the night together in a while. The two of them smiled and ran to the shower. Marc ran down to get bagels, while Alana was affixing her black eyeliner.
As they dined on their breakfast, they heard noises. All of a sudden a cannonball sized raisin smashed through the kitchen window. They knew Anat would rise up again. They only wished Alana’s commanding defeat of her in the hospital would silence her.
The two looked at each other and raced to the door. They saw her stomping down the street. They went outside and started pelting her with all they had — Wine, figs, barley, and monster-sized pomegranates.
She hit back with humongous raisins. Her adrenaline was out of control. She knocked the two of them down. They stayed in each other’s arms on the concrete for what seemed like forever. Anat came right up to them and went for the kill.
She pelted and pelted them with dried fruit. Neither moved. She bent down and was ready to unload. The Marc and Alana rolled over. All of a sudden the air was full raining wine, pomegranates, figs,
and barley. It was coming down like the plagues. Anat didn’t expect this. She went down. The other two just laid on the ground and smiled.
Marc and Alana decided to stay faithful and were feasting on steaks at Reserve Cut.
“Well, Marc, I guess we have Brit Milah to protect.”
“Yeah, Alana. Great job in the hospital. Jen’s baby is cute.”
“He is. Think we will ever have a baby?”
“You know us. But you never know,” he said.
They sipped their wine.
The next morning the two “lovebirds” rose early and went to shul for the event.
It was a huge crowd. Lots of bagels were downstairs in the banquet room. The traditional meal after the circumcision.
Mark and Alana went to their respective sections. Jake and Jen looked so happy. But fear was written across their faces. They were so happy after the mess at their wedding that their friends and family showed.
Alana knew she knocked out Anat in the hospital. But she was by no means down for the count.
They finished morning services and the mohel came up front. The baby was quiet. Jake’s grandpa Sam was the sandek. He held the baby. The wine was poured. The bay got his first sip. Blessings were said. The foreskin was cut by the mohel. Everything was peaceful. The baby was named, Benjamin.
All went downstairs and had an amazing breakfast. Marc and Alana bid everyone farewell at the end and went to Strawberry Fields.
Marc was sifting through Jen’s phone. He couldn’t believe he had to call his wife’s ex to save her. However, the circumstances were unusual. He texted Marc. No answer. He was being pelted with prunes, raisins and apricots. Many landed on Jen’s tummy. Hospital security was knocked out by the dried fruit.
All of a sudden, Alana and Tzipora were walking by. Alana met Tzipora at the hospital to go over Tzipora’s wedding. Eran and she were going to wed. Every now and then Tzipora still convinced Alana to jump into bed.
They heard people screaming. Tzipora said the yells were probably an accident victim. Alana didn’t think so. She heard these screams before. They were different. She saw Anat attacking Jen. Jake was down for the count. Alana looked at Tzipora and smiled.
“Anat leave her alone. Let bygones be bygones. We were all messed up when we were young.”
Anat sneered. “I’d love to. But I can’t. She should know what if felt like.”
Alana had enough. She unleashed red wine. It splattered all over Anat. She hit her right in the eyes. Some went up her nose. Funny thing is it didn’t do anything to remove her dirt. It just caked on. But it did slow her down.
Jen was raced into the delivery room. Jake followed. His box of cigars was destroyed. But he could care less.
Anat got up and pelted Alana with cannonball sized raisins. Alana ducked. This time with Anat, she was clearly in control. She sprayed Anat again and again. White and red.
Anat jumped back. She started to walk away. But Alana unleashed her full arsenal. She hadn’t fought with apples and figs for a while. But knew you can’t count Anat out. Alana was going for the kill.
All of a sudden all stopped to the sound of a babies’ first cry.
The ninth month
Jen was getting big. She was healthy. She went on maternity leave, as she was due any minute. But she still checked her work email. She is too good.
It had been a quiet 9 months. Anat left her alone. Her mom and sister planned a beautiful bridal shower. She received lots of gifts. Alana was invited for protective purposes. She even wore pink. But it was quiet. Real quiet.
All of a sudden she started feeling contractions. Jake was in their kitchen. He heard her yelling. He grabbed their bag and hopped into the car.
They raced toward Mt. Sinai. Traffic was light for midday Saturday. They pulled up to the hospital.
They rush in. Jen was anxious. But handling everything well. Jake was crazed. But he knew in a little while he’d be a dad.
She was checked in. Jake calmed down. As he sat down he smelled a foul odor. He was worried. He wasn’t sure if it was a patient or his worst fear, Anat.
Jen was being brought into the delivery room. The woman attending to her was was a typical hospital garb with a pair of boots. Anat looked Jen right between the eyes and smiled. Jen shivered. She screamed for Jake.
Anat smiled. As Jake got up and ran toward his wife, Anat unloaded huge raisins. They pelted him in the head and was knocked down. Jen started screaming, Marc. He was nowhere to be found.
Jen threw her phone to Jake and said get Marc.